#29 – L M R. When The Girl Says No, Molest Her
First of all apologies, I’ve been a bit remiss with this for reasons I can’t currently go into. (I know, mysterious). Anyway, you’ve missed reading it and I’ve missed writing it, so let’s kick off with a State Of The Union piece on a pet subject for male feminists everywhere…
Imagine for a moment that you run a huge company which specialises in selling goods online. You started off with books, and quickly branched out into various other articles, such as music, films, and DVDs. Picture for a moment a submission of a book to be stocked in your warehouse; a book so odious, so fundamentally wrong that at first you think it’s some manner of cruel joke that it was even passed to you for consideration.
Astonishingly, despite the fact that by virtue of simply refusing to pay tax you legally owe in the UK you are clearing millions a year in profit you’re so blinded by greed, arrogance, and a simple disregard of, and contempt for, any kind of social responsibility your internal checks and balances (such as they are) allow this piece of filth to get through and be offered for sale.
It’s a manual on how to turn a woman’s ‘no’ into a ‘yes’.
You know the scenario. You’ve stumped up for Nandos and a trip to Vue. You’re in the Focus driving her home. You’ve done the one about the butcher and the bacon slicer (which always KILLS with your mates) and she’s laughed. YOU ARE IN. Time to seal the deal.
Pull up at her place, go to get out and be invited in. DISASTER! She’s mumbling something about an early start tomorrow and she’s had a good time and she’ll call you sometime. This isn’t right. You’ve done everything you’re supposed to. You’re ENTITLED.
If only there were some kind of manual, a How To which can turn a peck on the cheek and an awkward walk back to the car into the kind of sweaty, urgent, tearful lovemaking you feel you’ve earned.
Step forward LMR Exposed: How To Overcome Her Last Minute Resistance To Sex, Turn ‘No’ Into ‘Yes’ And Get The Lay! [Kindle Edition] by the profoundly wise and clearly suave Vincent Vinturi.
I think the title tells you all you need to know yes?
Sounds like a joke right? I’m clearly winding you up because of course no company of any profile, let alone a world-wide one, would touch it with a barge pole. Apart from the fact that only the mentally ill would buy it the internet outrage it would prompt would be damaging to your brand in the extreme.
Well it’s not. On January 31st Amazon were forced to remove it from stock. People actually had to complain about it before they did. Yeah.
Not outraged enough yet? Here’s the blurb I lifted direct from the site. This is what they were using as an enticement to buy this trash.
Are you sick of getting a hot girl back to your place, excited at the prospect of fucking her, only to come up against last minute resistance when you go to make your moves…?
Maybe you go to kiss her but she pulls away. Maybe you reach to undo her bra, but she pushes your hand away…
Maybe you’re already naked and all she has on are some thin lace panties soaked with her pussy juices. And yet for some reason, when you go to take off this paper-thin barrier between her wet pussy and your eager dick, she STILL stops you! Over and over again…
You get frustrated and think “what the fuck is this girl’s problem!?” And no matter what you do or how you try, you just can’t overcome her resistance. So quite naturally, you get annoyed and give up. Maybe you even go to sleep with this hottie laying right next to you.
It’s almost like the universe is mocking you by making you lay right next to the girl you want to fuck so badly but can’t. One sleepless night later, you haven’t made love and you’re left feeling drained, defeated and — let’s be real — like a bit of a loser…
She walks out the door and you’ll never see her again. What a waste. After all, you did ALL that work to get a girl alone in the first place and then you couldn’t seal the deal. It stings the ego and it’s torture for your sore dick and aching balls. But believe it or not, this situation happens to countless guys just like you all the time. Guys who are actually pretty good with women but still haven’t mastered the art of “closing”…
Believe me, I know all too well how irritating and embarrassing this is. This frustrating scenario used to plague me, too. And it has cost me sex more times than I care to admit. But these days I rarely run into this dreaded Last Minute Resistance, or “LMR” for short. And in the rare cases that I do encounter it, I cut through it like a hot knife cuts through creamy, yellow butter.
And I’m about to show you how you can do it too…
In this detailed eBook and collection of real life case studies that are years in the making, I share the little-known mindsets and techniques that I and other extreme players have found to be consistently effective at breaking through a girl’s last minute resistance to sex AND preventing it!
Here’s just a taste of what you’ll learn:
How to drastically cut down LMR before you ever get back to your place by ‘setting the sexual frame’…
Exactly what to do (and what NOT to do) when a girl is physically resisting you, yet seems to want to stay…
…and so on. Essentially it’s Date Rape 101, and based around the premise that sexual violence committed by men is to a large extent rooted in ideologies of male sexual entitlement. In other words, take it, you deserve it.
Firstly, if your wooing technique and general self-esteem are so woefully lacking so as to be invisible to the naked eye, and you feel that investing in 159 pages of half-baked psychobabble designed to see you end up in Court No. 1 of the Old Bailey then you really shouldn’t be breeding.
Secondly, despite the fact that deep down I think there may well be an author chuckling to himself about the enormous practical joke he’s pulled (for the sake of my sanity if nothing else), I still have to wonder what the fuck is going on at Amazon that this nonsense can be allowed on their website. Maybe the whole company is an enormous piece of Banksy performance art, avoiding tax and allowing books like this and How To Train A Child (google it; you’ll go mental) to be sold until the virtual world implodes with disgust and anger?
Or, and I have to consider this, they’re too busy shovelling money down their gullets to give a tuppenny fuck about anything pesky like morals or decency. My money’s on this one.
That’s it. Not very cheery but there you go. Next time, more jokes, less rape, promise.