#32 – Old Time Religion

by forzabahab

OK, cards on the table. I’m not what you’d call a religious person, although if pressed I’d be happy to accept some manner of spiritual being’s existence. Having said that I don’t subscribe to the view that because you believe in one thing everyone who believes in something else, or doesn’t at all, is either evil or in need of evangelism so they can see the light. The way I look at it if your God’s so great he doesn’t need a sales force. In almost all circumstances I’m quite happy to leave religions to get on with it.

Sadly they don’t seem to get that live and let live has to have its limits.

The brother of one of the killers of Lee Rigby (you know, those lovable misunderstood nice to their mum scamps who ran him over and virtually hacked his head off in broad daylight supposedly in the name of their God) has been giving interviews.

Now let’s just set aside the fact that we’re a bit sickened by the fact he’s been given any airtime and media attention at all for a moment to find out what he wants to say. He believes that the reason his brother (I don’t know which one, but that’s because I can’t be arsed to look it up, not some kind of Andre Marriner tribute) has been given a whole life tariff to his sentence is because he’s a Muslim. His counter argument runs that another convicted murderer got a 40 year tariff and made plain his desire to start a race war.

Hmm, where to start? Well let’s see. They murdered a man for committing the heinous crime of being a soldier in a built up area. Is it possible, and I accept some of you might recoil from this description, that he got a whole life tariff because by his twisted logic he was doing the right thing, and he had melded his evident psychoses to his choice of spiritual calling?

Maybe his version of Islam (not shared by 99%) of others) led him to dehumanise a young father so much that he became a mere tool in his quest for some kind of revenge against those he sees as being bent on wiping out his fellow believers? And perhaps the judge recognised this and decided that he was an irredeemably evil cunt who should never walk the streets again?

The reason people who aren’t religious recoil from events like this is because they are generally mired in backward third world shit which civilised people have no time for. Any religion that thinks this is acceptable behaviour, or while we’re about it the subjugation of women, stoning, persecution and worse of gay people, and the belief that the world will only survive if everyone believes the same as they do is a load of old shit and frankly can fuck off. All round the world religions are being observed by normal, non spittle flecked swivel eyed nutjobs who just want to do a bit of a pray and enjoy life.

Sadly every faith is being riddled with scummy little pricks who think they can hijack people’s beliefs to push their warped agendas.

Think about it this way. If you were a predatory paedophile would you try and worm your way into working at an old people’s home or as a priest at a catholic school where the victims are right there? Is that the Catholic church’s fault or the sick fucks who like to touch kids? I’m pretty sure when the Muslim faith was in its infancy people didn’t sit around and think ‘so the endgame is to send our kids into streets with Semtex round their waists and blow a load of people to Kingdom Come yes?’

Go to sub Saharan Africa. See the church preaching against condoms, and watch a whole generation wiped out by rampant HIV/AIDS simply because they’re being denied access to proper reproductive education and have absolute trust that what comes from the pulpit simply cannot be wrong.

Female genital mutilation. What the absolute fuck?

That’s not an evil religion; that’s evil people using a religion to further their ends. Huge difference,

The trouble is if you listen to the noise all around you it’s easy to slip into paranoia; soon not only can you not tell the good guys from the bad, you stop trying. Every time you see an imam or a priest you’re conditioned to feel a certain way, and that causes a whole other set of problems.

Maybe this time we won’t fall for this ‘poor me’ whining. Maybe we’ll choose to remember what was done, and make our moral judgments based on that and nothing else.

Let’s hope so.


Fresh on the heels of Grant Schapps’ majestically bad bingo and beer graphic, designed to prove how in touch the Tories are with the working man but universally derided by anyone who knows that hardly anyone plays bingo anymore and 50 pubs are shutting a week, comes a new high on the Letthemeatcakeometer. Just when you think they can’t pour any more stupid on the fire Cllr Liam Marshall-Ascough has sped us towards Easter with a heartwarming message of hope for the people of Surrey looking for those green shoots of recovery. The council commissioned a study by the wonderfully named Deprivation Scrutiny Panel.  They suggested a food bank be set up at the town hall.  Conservatives in Crawley decided to ignore these findings with a piece of beautifully ignorant logic.

The councillor took his own life, his own I’ve got a job and I can afford stuff therefore everyone else can can’t they? life, and said that because the local restaurants are busy that means no one is going hungry, and therefore it’s evidence that his borough doesn’t need another food bank. I quote:

“People aren’t in poverty in terms of going without food. You try booking a restaurant in Crawley on a Friday or Saturday night. You can’t do it.”

This will of course come as a huge relief to all the people at the other end of the scale living locally who, if they are like the rest of the country’s poor who are being hit by welfare reforms, are running up on average £52 more debt every week. Surf and turf all round?

Now look, I’m not telling you how to vote. You wouldn’t listen to me and frankly I’m not convinced by any of them. But really people, really?

Next general election is next year. I’m just saying…….

And finally…

In common with a lot of my friends I’ve been through the wringer a bit in the last fortnight. I won’t go into it here (although for those who’ll get it in a spooky coincidence this is Blog 32) but I must just acknowledge Max Clifford’s cock, as whenever I’ve been feeling particularly low has inadvertently cheered me up no end. MAZELTOV!

There you are; a knob gag to end. Who says the classics are dead?

Until next time….